William R. Barlow, Sr.
October 17, 1923 - January 28, 2007

He's gone. We all feared it with his recent surgery. We celebrated when he survived the operation. We were joyous when we heard the very unexpected and un-usual news that he was cancer FREE! Our hopes were up, but for those of us who spent the last week with Dad, there was a fear, pushed down, decisively ignored. And, our worst fears came true yesterday.

Without going into great detail, I will say this. His heart - and perhaps first his will - gave out. We knew his heart was not good. A dr. told us a year ago it could stop anytime. He had a pacemaker and congestive heart failure. It was a hard week for him. And yesterday morning, after being taken to the ER after a rough night, his heart just quit.

And our hearts are broken. My heart is broken. He was more of a Dad to me than he'll ever know. But God knows. Because God brought me in to this beautiful family and gave me the gift of Mom and Dad Barlow. My loss isn't lessened by being an in-law.

Our grief is momentarily relieved by the wonderful knowledge that we know for sure where he is now. Thank God, we know for sure. Thank God for promises in His Word that assure us of this.

And we are cheered when we think of him being with Mom again. He was never quite the same without her. He missed her dearly.

Life with Dad was a joy because he was a joy and a sweet-heart. And we will miss him dearly. I miss him dearly.

Life with Dad.

It's all about that this week. He was scheduled for surgery next week to remove a cancerous tumor from his colon. But when the dr.'s gathered that he was having abdominal pain, they moved the surgery up a week. This, after fooling around for over a month - he was diagnosed in November. So all the schedules that had been re-arranged to accomodate Dad's surgery were all for nought. I ended up taking the day off on Tuesday to take him to the hospital (40 minutes away) and spent exactly 12 hours there. He never got back to his room until 10 p.m. But it was a blessing that he got back there at all, with having a bad heart and all.

Wednesday Chris and I went to visit as soon as I got home from work. He was doing remarkably well - at that point not even 24 hours after surgery. He was like "super Dad". Pretty hyper and a bit confused. We were able to speak with the doc at around 8 p.m. He said the tumor was much larger than they realized. And he had a cement-like abdomen from a previous colon surgery (to remove a cancerous polyp) years ago. In fact, he said Dad's bowel was obstructed. (Hence the pain he'd been feeling of late and, probably the source of "gut" pain he's complained of for years...) So we do expect Dad will be feeling much better overall after the surgery heals. He ended up with an ostomy, which we knew. The doc knew we were also concerned about spreading, but couldn't tell us anything yet. He said the tumor was years old, so I don't see that as a good sign, that, and it's size. We'll have to see on that one.

Thursday, my BIL, Bob, visited and said Dad was experiencing a lot of confusion. The nurses ended up calling the family Friday to see if we were ready to bring him home and, though we initially thought this unreasonable, it turned out to be the best choice. Being very confused and hallucinagenic is not uncommon in the elderly after surgery and during a hospital stay.

On Friday, I worked from 8-1 so that Chris and I could go right down (we thought when my earlier hours were planned that we would only be visiting Dad for the afternoon in the hospital) and, though we were reluctant to bring Dad home at first, we soon saw that he was not only doing amazingly well physically, but was REALLY messed up mentally. So we agreed it was best to get him home and in his own familiar surroundings and bed. Chris's sister, Beth, was to come for a week on Saturday, so Chris spent the night with Dad and I came back down in the morning to be there when he woke up and to meet his needs.

Dad did fine and after a fitful beginning, did get some good sleep. Slept til about 11 a.m. He was much more himself - and more in pain after not having meds since the wee hours - so I drugged and fed him and then brought him over to Chris's sister, Kellie's, to stay for the rest of the day. Don't know yet when Beth will get in - today or now Sunday, due to some snow showers.

All in all, I'm so glad that Chris and I were available for Dad this week. We love him dearly and are very concerned about his care and recovery. (Yes, we got taught how to care for his "ostomy" bag and etc. It's not too bad, but I can hardly believe that I'm all caught up with the bathroom needs of yet another parent - the second within a month!)

Being back in my own cozy little den now, though, is very welcome. I have a few things to get ready for church tomorrow and then I am going to totally "crash" in front of the tube. My sweet little Rocky is curled up on my lap even as I'm blogging - keeping me warm since the fire got pretty low with Chris gone overnight.

I think Dad will recover nicely from the surgery. In fact, as I said before, he'll probably be feeling better than he has in a long time. The next hurdle will be facing whether or not the cancer has spread and what to do about it. As the doc said, it's a philosophical question as to whether or not you give chemo to an 83 year old man with a bad heart.....We shall see.

One tough kitty?

That's my Rocky. We think he's 13. And he's still pretty darn frisky. He was doing moves the other night that would make any running back jealous.

Kitties are such creatures of habit. I love that. When I can't depend on anything else, I can depend on Rocky. He comes in the bathroom with me every morning and stands between my legs when I'm sitting you-know-where. Until I pet him for a while. Any time I'm sitting on the couch, he's sure to be plastered against my side. When I lay on my right side in bed, with my right arm bent up to my pillow on the mattress, he always comes and folds his little paw into my palm and then lays the rest of himself on my arm. I love that.

When he was a kitten, I asked a girlfriend to help me name him. I wanted something masculine, so she came up with Rocky. And though he still loves to play (like with ribbon in the picture) and sometimes pretends to ignore me and bites me if I touch his back feet, well, he's really just a little pussy-cat. He loves me as much as I love him. In the photo, he was playing, but I called his name and he looked up at me. And Chris took the shot. He can't resist a chance to be petted and snuggled - by MOI alone. With Chris and Dustin, not so much. Dustin doesn't respect his space. And Chris just sends out "keep away" vibes most of the time. But Rocky and I have an understanding.

He almost died once and I remember just looking at him in the eyes and willing him to live and conveying to him how much I loved him. I think he got it...and he did live. He is one tough kitty.

Milestones!

First, see the SNOW out that window? That's one. Our first snow that's stuck. Well, it ain't much, I know, but it's something. And it's winter and there should be snow!

Second, notice that you can see out that window? Just two days ago you couldn't. B'cause we had our crappy twenty year old fogged up sliding door in there. And now, it's a P E L L A. Take a deep breath with me now. Yes, we own, not one, but two, yes TWO, sturdy, beautiful Pella sliding doors. (The other one's on the other side of the house/deck). Those dang old doors have been driving me nuts for SO long. So thank you, Matthew and Martha, for planning to get married at our house in June, b'cause otherwise, I'm pretty sure we'd be having those old crappy doors for another whole bunch of years...

See? It doesn't take much to entertain me in my simple little life!

This is my latest creation. It's a little mini-tag book I made for my mom for Christmas. The pictures were taken when we all got together in Madison back in May of 06. You can see the whole album here. By the way, my maiden name is "Hall" - hence the play on words in the title of the little book. I really like the quilt theme, which was inspired by the "Family Quilt" sticker on the first page (shown). I love the quote on the last page (shown). It's definitely true about our family!

My next scrappin' project is to design about three different wedding invitation sets for Matthew and Martha to choose from. In fact, I'm going to start that this afternoon.

But I have to run to WalMart. I've been in the house for about 4 days now and I think I need to get outside a little bit. Especially since it's in the upper 40's out there. Nice.

Am I getting tired of being home? Uh, NO!!! I'm just SO relishing this time. And I'm really getting a lot of "stuff" done, too. It's really going to be hard to go back on Monday. Getting up at 5:50 a.m. will be the real killer. I've been sleeping in til about 8:30 a.m. at the earliest. Got in the hot tub this a.m. Lovely. How can I give this up again? It's getting harder and harder.

I'll think about it some more - later...

Happy New Year!

I love a new year. And I love having my computer upstairs in the living room on my desk! It's a change that happened relatively quickly, thanks to Christmas money!

A few weeks ago I told Chris I hated going into our computer room downstairs to work because it was always a mess (out of my comfort zone) and I hated being in a place with no windows and no knowledge of what was going on out in the real world. So we discussed the option of him getting a laptop for downstairs and moving our existing computer up to my desk.

And - voila - there it is! I'm lovin' it. Loving to look out the window, loving that the bathroom and snacks are only a few steps away. And loving that I can hear the sounds of the chimes gently awakened by the wind. It will no longer be such a pain to come home from work and do banking, etc. I can turn on the stereo and work in a lovely, neat space - my OWN! (Did I mention I'm only steps away from my scraproom as well?)

Chris benefits from this change as well because he can now make that dungeon, er, I mean, lower level computing space, into HIS own. He can set up his office down there however he wants. I only need to keep a file cabinet in there, but all the rest is up to his imagination. Ok - NO smoking of any kind down there unless he can feed a pipeline directly from his office to the outside and blow directly into it. (Knowing him, that will be his next project!) :)

My desire to re-organize the whole house is very strong right now. So the question is - scrap or organize. Wow, I HATE these tough choices! So much to think about in the new year...

That makes me HAPPY!

It's Christmas.

It's quiet in this house. I'm the only one awake and I love having the time to myself, to reflect. I look out on the streets of Madison and there's barely a car or a soul stirring. But I'm sure all over the city there are houses full of people, and especially children - that are missing it.

Oh, they're ripping open presents, sipping their "Christmas Blend" coffee, listening to carols on the CD player provide the background music to the pandemonium that's going on. There are parents releasing great sighs of relief that "it's" over. Those last-minute presents they didn't have time to get won't be gotten. No more pushing your way through crazed crowds with glazed-over eyes or circling the mall thirteen times trying to find a parking space. It's over. No more wrapping, running, spending, decorating, mailing, baking. It's over. But they missed it.

It's all so distracting, but we get sucked into it anyway. Even those of us that want to remember. We still unload boxes and boxes of decorations from the attic before the turkey carcass has had a chance to become soup. We shop for electrified fake trees (some of still go cut them down), we untangle yards and yards of hopelessly entangled lights, we risk our lives on ladders some of us shouldn't even be thinking about setting a foot on. We fill every nook and cranny with greenery, fake snow and every trinket that is somehow supposed to represent Christmas. We spend days doing this (well, moms do, anyway).

And we shop. And shop and shop. Money, budgets - bah humbug. C'mon, it's Christmas. We have to go hog wild and get people we love all the "stuff" they want. And how about the people we don't love? We get sucked into buying presents for someone because we know they will get one for us and we can't stand the guilt of not having something for them. Token, meaningless gifts.

How many of us even remember the gifts we recieve a month afterwards? We'll remember when the credit card bill arrives. We'll be reminded of it when we try to find homes for our new acquisitions amongst all the other "stuff" that already occupies places in our living rooms, closets, dens, etc. But soon it will all get absorbed into our material wealth like everything else and - we still will have missed Christmas.

I shut my eyes this quiet morning and remember a story, a beautiful story. A true story. There's a baby. There are loving parents - three of them. There is music. Angelic, joyful, awe-inspiring music. There is a gathering. People have come to see and to worship. There is family. There are gifts. Gifts that weren't purchased. Gifts that are given from the heart. This baby is a gift. This baby has brought us a relationship with His real Father. He's brought us freedom from being a slave to sin. He's brought us eternal life. He brought us a purpose for our lives.

Oh, yes, THIS is Christmas. Remembering that child. That gift. That love that God has for us.

Gifts aren't a bad thing. Music isn't bad. Family gatherings aren't bad. These can be beautiful when they are a reflection of our love and given freely with no strings attached. And when the motivation for them is a simple expression of giving of ourselves.

The decorations? I don't know. We have to stop and ask ourselves, "how is this helping me to focus on the baby, the story, the love? What am I doing all this for? WHO am I doing all this for?" If it's just causing a lot of stress, guilt, feelings of competition, exhaustion, etc., maybe we should re-think all we do... Do less, keep it more simple, more purpose-full.

I pray that today, we can get away from all that distracts us from what Christmas really is supposed to be about. I pray that we can find some quiet moments to thank God for this amazing gift He has given us. I pray that, in the true spirit of Christmas, we can look other-ward, rather than self-ward, that we can give from our hearts. Whether we give a gift, or time or service, or kind words, let us give it from our hearts. And that we can also receive, gratefully and with awe, this gift of life, freedom and eternity God has given us in His little Son. It is the only gift that really matters today - and EVERY day. I wonder where I would be without it. I pray that you will take time today to receive it, be thankful for it, recognize the Giver and enjoy it.

Merry CHRISTmas!

Christmas Eve
is here.

I'm in Madison, WI at my mom's new digs. Nope, no snow here either BUT, there's a bit of a chance for tomorrow - a flake or two could possibly be flying around out there.

I got to have a nice visit with my brother, John yesterday along with my s-i-l Kathy, neice Kelly and nephew Bryan. SO great to see them all. And I hadn't seen the long lost Bryan for quite a few years, so that was really great. He has plans for the future and seems to be doing great. I'm so glad he wanted to come. Of course, I got some photos, but not able to post them yet - didn't bring my camera cable, etc.

I also got to talk to both of my other sibs yesterday. I'll see Barb on Tuesday - can't wait for that.

Mom seems to be recovering well from a nasty fall she took about three weeks ago - went face/head first over her walker in a hotel bathroom and kissed the floor. Only broke a bone on the side of her hand, cut her lip (and required stitches) and bruised her face and ribs. The ribs are still quite sore, but the bruising isn't noticeable anymore. She still needs lots of help, though. Her "girls" have been staying 24/7, but, since I'm here, I opted to go solo in the nursing department. Mom's doing really well at night, so I'm able to sleep fine - in fact was up first this a.m. (hence, the free time to blog). Well, okay, that's because the basket fell off mom's walker and she got hung up on it (i.e. "stuck") and yelled for me (which I strongly encouraged). That was at 6:30 a.m., so when I was still awake (back in bed) at 7 a.m., I surrendered and got up and got a shower and hurried to the quietness of the computer.

The sun should shine today - haven't seen it for a while. We have a brunch here in the dining room around noon and that's it for the big plans. I think we'll watch "A Christmas Story" on TV, as it's running all day.

For now, I've commissioned Chris to, "go ye forth and findeth a Starbucks and returneth not without a tall peppermint mocha.". Do I hear an amen?

Yum!

No, my woods are not on fire!

I went upstairs Wednesday evening to change my clothes to go to our Thanksgiving service at church and looked out the bedroom window and there were these amazing golden streaks happening right out the window (that looks west). I knew what was coming, so ran downstairs, grabbed the camera and ran out in the yard.

Normally, when there's a great sunset coming, I'll run down to the end of the driveway - about 1/4 mile - and shoot photos (or just watch) from down there where there aren't any trees to block the way. But sunsets go fast and I knew I wouldn't have time. So I started snapping and got some good photos and this is just one of 'em. Cool, huh?

I'm "on vacation" right now - Thanksgiving vacation - from work, anyway. And, after my last blog, you know I'm lovin' it. Dad joined us overnight to be here all day for Thanksgiving and Dustin and Judy came up as well. We had a really nice day and a fabulous meal. I'm so thankful to have family gathered around...

Judy and I got this brilliant idea to go out on "black friday" because A.C. Moore offered 60%-off coupon(s). We do have some new (and really nice) stores at our mall, and, I tell you, I've NEVER in my 30+ years of living around here, seen our mall like THIS. Okay, so I don't usually go out on black friday, but I have, and not even that long ago. But this was unbelieveable. We did manage to spend our coupons, but due to a flat tire and Dustin forgetting his keys at our house, our plans for the day got drastically changed. Oh well, I came home and did my dreaded and put-off banking (consisting of bazillions of receipts from when Chris and I did the majority of our Christmas shopping last week). Whew.

I haven't been doing much scrapping lately. A lot of re-arranging and organizing in my room, but not much actual scrapping. And I've been missing it. So today, now that I'm caught up and I have a few hours to spare before going to my dear friend Deborah's 50th (surprise) birthday party, I'm goin to go play... It's all Christmas stuff at this point. But that's okay - since I'm not decorating (since we're going away this year), this will be my way of immersing myself in the Christmas spirit! Okay, I might drag out a few candles - but that's it. So....

...let the Christmas season begin! 

Gray.

It's one of those very drizzly, foggy, gloomy days where you'd just like to curl up on the sofa with a cup of hot tea, a blankie, your kittie curled up next to you and a good read. Oh, how I wish.

I've been saying it out loud a little bit lately. Now let me put it in writing. I want to be home. I'm not talking about a day off. I mean I just want to be a non-working home-body again. The urges are getting stronger and stronger. And it's not just because it's a gray day.

I feel guilty for thinking this. Because I prayed for this job. And God didn't just answer my prayer with some old job. He answered by getting me the most perfect job for me (if I was going to work, I didn't want anything less). And the best boss and a wonderful group of co-workers and an astoundingly beautiful work space. How can I just smack down that wonderful answer to prayer? How ungrateful can I be? How spoiled can I be?

I have reasons, you know. Good reasons. All within God's will, too. And here they are (not necessarily in order of preference):

1. (This is good - how could God not like this one?) I really miss my nice, long quiet times, devotional times. In my p.j. (pre-job) days I could easily spend an hour to an hour and a half in bible reading, bible study and prayer. It was lovely. Now, I'm lucky if I get a chapter read in the morning and prayer time is generally in the car on the way to work. (Luckily, I have a 25 minute, non-trafficky drive.)

2. I never thought I'd be saying this, but - I miss cooking. And meal planning. And eating healthy. And not that Chris isn't doing a good job of providing a few meals a week, but it's often just hit and miss. And I just can't come home from work and cook. Even though I only work 5 hours - it's 98% computer work - and pretty intense at times (except for like now, when I'm blogging...) But, with my lunch hour and the roundtrip, I'm actually gone 7 hours daily. And I'm mentally and physically done when I get home. That's just me. (I don't know how women that work full-time and have kids at home do it!) If I was home full-time, I'd get back into planning meals regularly, shopping for food regularly and cooking regularly. I want to make it healthier, too. And I'd enjoy it. And, believe me, Chris, as much as he says he likes to cook, would enjoy it. He likes to cook at his leisure, not on demand or out of necessity. I think the fun it started out to be for him has worn off. If I was home, we could go back to sharing this task. But at least meals would be planned and shopped for.

3. I'm out of shape. Okay, that's putting it mildly. I used to start work at 10 a.m. instead of 9 a.m., but that hour at the end of the day is ever so much more useful to me than at the beginning. Especially since so many days of the week, I'm not really "done" when I get home. I have our banking and the church banking and ladies bible study (at my house most often) and worship team not to mention putting together the song service and other things like Wednesday church and the occasional odd outside committment. SO, even though I was walking more when I didn't have to be at work til 10 a.m., it was killing me to come home at 4 p.m. instead of 3 p.m. and get right into all that other stuff. Having said all that - NOW (though I come in earlier and get home earlier) I'm not doing one teensy little bit of exercise because there's NO time before work and I'm sacked after work. I've gained more weight. My heel (plantar faciitis) kills me. My stairs often seem like Mt. Everest. My only muscle workout is when I attempt to carry all 10 grocery bags in at once - on the rare occasion when I get groceries. I want to come home so I can get back to work on my fitness level. Just to take regular walks would be such a luxury and such an improvement.

4. Okay - honestly, I NEVER thought I'd say this, but - I want to clean my house. I haven't really cleaned it in the four years that I've been working. Because Saturday is really my only day off (I "work" half of Sunday, too, at church.) I've been loathe to use that one day cleaning! Yuk! Sometimes, because I've laxed off during the week, I have to catch up on banking or song service stuff on Saturday. Sometimes we have plans that day. Sometimes I just crash. But rarely do I spend that time cleaning. Usually the only time I do is if someone is coming over. In fact, having company has been the only thing that has saved us from drowning in dust. Well, the dust the company would see, anyway. There's so much dust upstairs that I wake up congested every morning. Our bedroom floor hasn't seen the bottom of the vacuum cleaner in months. (And then it was probably Chris that ran it.) Yes, Chris does some housework. But pretty much only the bare essentials of cleaning the main-floor floors and keeping the kitchen in somewhat good shape - about once a week. I long to clean out closets, file cabinets, drawers. To dust everything from the fireplace mantel to the far reaches of under our bed. I long to clear stuff out, simplify, purge and re-organize. I long to be the mistress of my home again and get it in ship-shape (much as like myself).

5. Yeah, you knew this one was coming. I want scrap time. Yes, I have Monday nights, but even that's not always a given. Sometimes, I'm just too tired to even scrap! But if I was home - well, I have IDEAS, people! My head is swarming with projects I want to do. Classes I'd like to teach. Maybe even a business I'd like to start. Usually when I start a new hobby, I exhaust my desire to do it in a few months or in a few projects. But this scrapping thing, I tell you, it's been two years now and I just can't get enough. And I keep getting magazines and publications that continue to inspire me. As long as life is happening around me, there's stuff I want to scrap. Not to mention the joy, the peace, the refreshment, the opportunity for expression that it gives me. It's my happy place, my zone, my peaceful place to think, to create, to express, to give, to reflect, to meditate, to relive. And I don't see it as being even remotely wasteful. Because there's always some kind of worthwhile end product. And I think I have talent and gifts in this area. I can share them. This is the hobby that my whole artistic life before has been preparing me for. And I want more, more, more.

6. Last but not least. I think it will help my relationship with Chris. When I asked him what he thought about me quitting my job to come back home full-time, he said he'd think about it. So when I gave him time to do that and mentioned it again a couple weeks later (and, of course, he hadn't though about it yet), he said "do what you want". Okay that little interchange right there can give you a hint that maybe the spark is fluttering a bit, eh? He says he likes to cook. He doesn't complain about having to clean up a lot. But I think it would be downright sexy to him to have me around again, cooking, cleaning, working on myself. Just to be present and not so tired and crabby that most conversation is cavewoman-esque at best. In other words, it couldn't hurt. And it could very well HELP!

Okay, I've put it in writing now. I know this will only increase my longing. But this is a matter of big-time prayer right now. (Yes, I'm bold enough to ask God for more mercy. He knows how I feel, anyway!) So, we'll see what happens, how it works out.

In the meantime, on this very gray day, I'd better get back to work!

This is the lovely, homey, Cedar Run Inn. It's a rare jewel plunked down in the middle of the Pine Creek valley in north-central PA.





This is Pine Creek, which is just adjacent to the Inn. That's the lawn of the Inn you can just see at the very right. On the other side of the Inn is the rails-to-trails bike path which provides miles and miles of non-stop gorgeous scenery for your biking or walking pleasure.





North of where the Inn is located is what is known as the PA Grand Canyon. We drove along the west rim of the canyon (on what we lovingly refer to as the "west wim woad") on Friday. It was a dreary and rainy day, but just as we got to this vista, the sun broke out and lit up this mountain for a spectacular photo op!

All this is part of the three day annual trip we take here. We've done it for four years now. It's such a wonderful, relaxing time, regardless of the weather. The color this year was probably the best we've seen it. And, while there was a bit of rain, that just gave us all the more chance to relax. We did get a nice long walk in and a short bike ride. And, of course, naps. We love the naps. We had a chance to read and play a game. And the food served at the Inn is just fabulous. Food is where they really shine. The salmon dish I had was perfected over months by the owners' son (also the chef) and is absolutely the BEST salmon dish I've ever had. It's just a never-ending burst of flavor right up to the last bite. I didn't even want to eat the last bite - I wanted to save it and take to bed with me - just to cuddle and enjoy as long as possible. Sick, I know. Well, I did eat it, but I hated to see it come to an end.

And we always hate to see our fall trip to Cedar Run come to an end... But it does in a most delightful way. Chris's dad and sister and husband come up to join us in a nearby town for their Oktoberfest meal. Also quite tasty. No, it's not all about food - but close!

A face only a mother could love...

Oh, I mean the dog, not the boy! Yep, Matthew and Martha couldn't pass up this little guy. They (for some reason) visited a local SPCA and I guess it was Matthew that just had to go back.

They named him Taco. I guess he's about a year old. So far, he's been a great little doggie. Matthew takes him to work (at church) with him and he just sleeps the whole time (the dog, not Matthew).

I kind of figured there would be a new pup in their future. It warms my heart that they have a soft spot for the unlovable, the, shall we say, unattractive. Gotta love that!

This is one of my favorite pages.

See how a blog can turn into a scrapbook page? (see previous blog entry) This page just formulated itself in my mind after I did that blog. I felt compelled to make it - even though it was 9 p.m. I never start scrapping that late, but I decided to go with the flow, and that's a good lesson, because it might not have flowed if I'd have waited. I'll remember that. Plus, I wanted to do it while it was still Sue's birthday (even though I didn't finish until 1:30 a.m.).

I love this picture of Sue, too. I actually cropped it out of a photo of all 5 of us siblings and mom at the last Hall reunion that Sue made it to. Little did we know then that she wouldn't be with us the next year. She looks happy and relaxed in this picture, not like someone that would be gone seven months later. You never know, do you? Make sure you hug your loved ones, people, because you never know... 

Today.

I would have called you.
We would have laughed.
You would have sighed over getting older.
You would have enjoyed your little grandbabies dancing around you as they bounced out of the arms of your daughters.
Your husband would have given you an extra special kiss.
You would have gotten a gift or two, maybe eaten some cake.
You would have turned 52 today.
You would have.
If the cancer hadn't taken you away just four months after your 42nd birthday.
I'm thinking of you, Sue, and missing you...

...today.
 

It's a sad day.

Is there anyone not blogging about what happened 5 years ago today? I'm still so moved by the whole thing. It still seems surreal.

As much as I am moved by the tragedies of this day, I have to say I don't go around living in fear. Does that mean that I'm immune to the potential threat we live under? Does that mean I'm naive about the protection our country (for the most part, anyway) seems to enjoy?

I don't think so. For me, it means that I know when my time on earth is up, it's only because God has deemed it so. I don't think that means that I can take irresponsible risks with my life (or others') but I do think it eliminates the need to spend precious time worrying about the what if's of life.

I am so thankful for the freedom our nation is priveleged and blessed to live under. I am so thankful that our nation isn't war-ravaged like so many in the news today. I am so thankful daily for the beauty of God's creation and the joy it brings me. I am so very thankful for the day and age - and place - I was born into. My life is blessed and rich and full.

But there are so many reliving their personal horrors today. Many that lost loved ones in such a violent way five years ago. My heart goes out to them. My prayers go up for them.

It makes me cry.

Company's comin'!

Uninvited company - but he's coming anyway. Ernesto, that is. Not to minimize at all any damage or tragedy that may have come to others as a result of this storm, but I really don't mind that he's coming. If I'm stuck inside that means I can hunker down in my scrap room or snuggled on the couch with the present book I'm reading without feeling any guilt whatsoever. Sure, I could be cleaning or cooking, but why focus on little unpleasantries like that?

I'm at work and have another hour and twenty minutes to go... The wind is picking up and the radar indicates that the storm has entered south central PA and is headed directly for us. I hope I can get home before the torrents start. My tires tend to hydroplane.

I'm starting a new scrapping project. It's part two of a four part series. Part one = all about "me". I've already finished this book. It was quick and fun to think about all the journaling questions that were presented. Part two = all about "you" - meaning DH, of course. Except it's really set up to be done from my perspective and, to me, that's still about me and not Chris. So, I've changed it up alot, added a bunch of quizzes for Chris. It should be fun. The third part is about the boys/fam together and the last is the year in review. I appreciate the continuity of a kit and how the elements all work together. In this case, the placement of the page and journaling is all pre-suggested as well. So it's nice for a quick little project. But, I've also felt free to make it my own. I'll post a page or two in an upcoming blog. You can see the kit here.

I suppose I'd better get back to work. I'm looking forward to this three day weekend - rain or shine!

Back to work.

That's where I've been. I started blogging, interestingly enough, while at work last spring. The whole DSL and grab a minute here thing was enticing since I have dial-up at home (read: endless frustration on the internet). So I thought my blogging would pick up when I got back to work on the 15th. But nooooo. There's such a thing as B U S Y !!

So, I'm sneaking in a minute during my lunch hour. No pics, sorry.

We went to a pretty good celtic music festival this past weekend. It was held at a little winery out in some very pretty country south of us about an hour. So there was a wine tasting tent, which was fun. We heard some downright good Irish trad music and some "Irish Rock" as well. It was a fun time. Went with friends.

I was gonna have Chris pick me up two giant plastic storage bins so I could pack away some stuff (candle stuff) in my scrap room in the hopes of spreading out a bit. (Maybe I should consider getting less stuff - NOT!) But all I really needed to do was throw out a bunch of stuff and re-arrange a bit and - voila - two whole shelves became available! I love it when that happens. And it was just the right amount of space I was in need of.

I REALLY need to do this is every area of my house. (Dang - what happened to the summer?) Just think of all the extra room and sleek bare surfaces I would unearth. I do love throwing stuff out. Just crappy stuff. Why do I have so much of it is the question....

Back to work....

I went with the Longwood Gardens entry (see previous blog). After I did that post, I walked back into my scrap room and saw that layout there and, well, I decided I really liked it and it was the most original of the two.

Soooo, Friday I find out if I made it through to the next round. This is kind of like "survivor"! I'm doing WAY better at this survivor than I would at the real one. If I ever made it onto the real Survivor show, (ha! as IF....) I would, like, stash something illegal - like a big fat Snickers bar - in my stuff and then let someone "accidentally" find it on the first day so that I'd get kicked off the show and then could spend the rest of the month in the luxury hotel while they finished taping the show. I mean, if I actually stayed on the show and WON the million (again - HA!), I'd spend the money on a month-long trip to a tropical island luxury resort anyway - so why not just cut out all the other stuff?

Okay - it's my second day back to work. I worked an extra half hour and then came straight home and did my banking, which I didn't finish because I had to go eat dinner (which my dear hubby cooked) and then went straight to Wednesday church and then came straight home to finish my banking. Which I did and now I'm bleary-eyed and blogging!

That's enough for now!

I can't decide.

These are my two latest pages for the "Last Scrapper Standing" dare contest (see previous blogs). The challenge this week is to scrap a page with exactly 13 photos on it.

I did the flower one first and then got the idea for the reunion one over the weekend, so I scrapped it today. I love them both - for different reasons. One is more artsy, more original but the other is more memory-related, more personal. Both feature freestyling and my own handwriting.

If you're looking at this and it's before Wednesday, August 16th at 4 p.m., why don't you just e-mail me your thoughts? I'd appreciate it. If you want to see what's current in scrapbooking right now (maybe a helpful thing), check out the 2PeasInABucket gallery here which is being filled constantly with people's latest work.

Thanks! Now back to work...

Here's a sneak peek at my 1st "Last Scrapper Standing" dare.

The challenge was to journal right on your photo.

In case you can't read it, my journaling says: "Matthew, you look so pensive in this photo - are you reflecting on all the decisions you've made that have brought you to this place in time? Are there things going through your mind even now that will influence the coming changes? Or are you just standing there blown away by the rugged, awesome beauty of this place, this Ireland? Does your presence here seem surreal? Ponder away, son. Your future is shining with promise. You are but a reflection of my hopes and dreams."

I like it. I love the journaling and I like how it turned out - how everything is about reflection. I especially like the clear acrylic letters that are upside-down, like a reflection of the title. (And there's an "m" on the raised part with Matthew in it.)

I'm loving doing the "dares", the challenges. Food for thought, chance for growth. I'm all over that.

Tomorrow's the big post to 2p's. We'll see what happens...